THE ghost of Adolf Hitler has advised Boris Johnson that sometimes you need to know when you are beaten.
The shade of the former Führer has risen from the underworld to suggest to the prime minister that vowing to fight to the very end is all well and good, but take it from him, it is not always the best course.
He continued: “Come on, my blond-haired friend. You know I wouldn’t mislead you. Even my enemies would agree I’m a pretty straight-talking kind of guy.
“You know what? Sometimes you have big plans and they go wrong. I know how it is. I dreamed of a thousand-year Reich and what did I get in the end? 12 measly years. Then there was all that nastiness at the end.
“From one wannabe World King to another, sometimes you have to cut your losses. If I could have quit the bunker and written columns for the Telegraph I would.
“Remember when we were watching Scarface during our last movie night? Remember how he ended up? I didn’t choose that movie by chance. I hoped maybe you could learn from it.”
Johnson said: “Normally Hitler talks good sense, but resign? Just when I’m on the brink of turning this around and winning the next election in a landslide?”