DID you vote remain in 2016? Then now’s the time to be tragically smug about your prophecies of doom coming true. Here’s how to rub people’s noses in it:
Go for a McDonald’s milkshake
Invite all your Brexiteer friends out for a slap-up meal of Maccy Dee’s milkshakes to show them that there’s no hard feelings. When the cashier tells you they’re all out of stock due to supply chain issues you can turn to your Leaver pals and say ‘who saw this coming, eh?’ with wide-eyed fake astonishment.
Remain lost in 2016 for a number of reasons, one of them being that they didn’t have a catchy slogan people could bellow on repeat. Make up for lost time by clearly shouting ‘I told you so’ at the top of your lungs while jabbing Brexiteers in the chest. This will undoubtedly win them round.
Yes, you lost. And yes, you knew Brexit would go this badly. But if you really want to remind people about your unheeded warnings, make sure you do it with a shit-eating grin on your face. Brexiteers will be confused that you’re so happy in defeat but at this point that’s all you’ve got.
Brexiteers hated being talked down to by unelected Brussels bureaucrats, so try to sound just like they used to. Go the extra mile and say ‘je te l’avais dit’ and leave them struggling to translate your sick burn.
Offer no practical solutions
Five years on, the country is still divided by the referendum. Help to keep it that way by being all high and mighty about your choice voting and making zero effort to find any common ground with Leavers. And no, a second referendum wouldn’t fix anything.