THE government has once again reneged on the manifesto that swept it into power, like it always does. Practised Tory voter Wayne Hayes explains how to handle it:
Rewrite history
Embrace your denial by insisting that you actually voted for tax hikes back in 2019. When friends and family call you out on your bullshit, simply laugh and say they must be thinking of someone else. Just like the master, Boris himself.
Slam the opposition
Yes, this tax rise breaks a promise that the Conservatives made to the people, but that doesn’t mean it’s their fault. If anything we should be pointing a finger at the Labour party because they don’t have a credible alternative plan. Or for an easier target, blame the Lib Dems.
Remember the good times
Amid the pain of betrayal it can be hard to remember why you’re in this toxic relationship. Spend a while recall all the amazing memories you’ve made together, like when the Tories offered the NHS a pitiful pay rise, when Johnson said he’d let bodies pile high in their thousands, and of course Barnard Castle.
Practice self-care
I know, it sounds like hippy nonsense, but treachery can damage your mental health. Improve your well-being by reading The Telegraph in the bath then going fox hunting while listening to stirring military music. You’ll be dehumanising migrants again in no time.
Vote for them again next time
Giving duplicitous behaviour your unwavering support is the best way to break out of a cycle of betrayal and misery. What else are you going to do, change your behaviour, endorse a party that’s more sincerely aligned to your needs, and risk your life actually improving? Sounds horrendous.
