WE should be doing all we can to help Ukrainians fleeing the war, right? Wrong. Roy Hobbs explains why letting them into the UK is a risk we can’t take:
They could be vampires
Ukraine borders Transylvania, where Dracula lives. Bleeding heart liberals might be fine with Ukrainians flying around all night, all cleavage and sucking your dog’s blood out, but if they want to do that, I say stay in your own country.
They supported the Nazis in WW2
Ukrainians fought alongside the Wehrmacht in WW2. They say it’s because they hated Stalin, but they would. We didn’t win two world wars just to hand Britain over to the Nazis. What next? Put ourselves in prison camps and ask the Japs to take over?
They’ll get used to the cushy migrant lifestyle
Thanks to brave GB News presenters who aren’t afraid of the truth, we know that the Ukrainians want free pizza and five-star hotels and anyone who questions this will be arrested for racism. They’re a proud people who love hard work in freezing temperatures, so letting them get used to luxury wouldn’t be fair to them.
We’re literally full
We are. Farmfoods was heaving on Saturday. If too many Ukrainians arrive the sheer weight could make Britain tilt over and millions of cars and people will slide into the sea. My daughter denies it but it’s just basic physics. The state of education these days.
It would encourage far-right extremism
More immigrants would increase support for far-right groups and that’s the last thing we want. Broadly speaking. Personally I think we need a strong leader and more discipline and national service, but I’m thinking of the gay metropolitan leftists.
It still might be a hoax
We all know how easy it is to fake things on the internet. Imagine if Ukrainians have faked the invasion with computer graphics so they can come here to cash in our generous benefits system. We’ll look like f**king knobheads then.