BORIS Johnson is claiming a letter that is clearly a fine to any sane person is actually something entirely different and work-related.
The prime minister has decided his ‘partygate’ ploy of pretending he thought a party was actually a work event was worth another shot, despite it being unconvincing and pathetic.
Johnson told reporters: “Yes, the message says ‘FINE’, but it’s actually a message from Michael Gove saying ‘everything is FINE’. I can see how people might get confused.
“It’s actually a work thing about buying a new computer for Downing Street. That’s very boring so you won’t want to be looking at it in any detail. Let’s put it away now and talk about how I saved Ukraine the other day.”
Guardian journalist Donna Sheridan said: “I’m going to write about eight earnest articles pointlessly analysing whether Johnson is going to resign. Obviously he’s not.
“I doubt one more lie matters to Boris. It’s an insult to voters’ intelligence, or maybe they’re just thick and it’s not.”
Johnson supporter Norman Steele said: “It’s obviously a work letter, and anyway I’ve decided that if Boris does it, lying is a really good laugh. Would you prefer Corbyn or something? I’d go for a pint with Bozza.
“All of which is a painfully roundabout way of saying I like Brexit and send the immigrants back.”