I’VE been in politics long enough to know what’s important and what’s a mere gesture by deluded millionaire Marxists who should stick to football. Let me explain:
Taking the knee: GESTURE
As both a victim of and perpetrator of racism, I know it from both sides. And kneeling before a game isn’t going to change anything. It’s ineffectual playing at politics. So stop it. Stop it. It’s meaningless and unimportant nonsense which is why it is imperative you stop immediately.
Tweeting a picture of yourself supporting England: IMPORTANT
It is vital we work with the social media tech giants to ensure as many people get access to images of the home secretary in a boxfresh England shirt cheering on her national side as possible. Access to these pictures should be compulsory.
Speaking frankly about your experience of racism: GESTURE
Marcus Rashford and his fellow England heroes have a duty to remain silent and not ruin the nation’s memories of a successful Euros by talking about bad things. If they’d only keep quiet they’d have more racist support and would win more, logically.
Going on dawn immigration raids: IMPORTANT
It was entirely necessary for me to go on dawn immigration raids and see humans dragged from their beds to be deported. I’d lost my motivation and wasn’t even into taking my anger out on staff anymore. But those raids fired me up and now I’ve invented new asylum laws.
Securing school meals for children in poverty over holidays: GESTURE
Marcus Rashford chose, while earning an estimated hundred million pounds a week, to attack a humble, hard-working government whose leader had been very ill, just because he felt sorry for hungry kids. What he did achived nothing, which is why we opposed it so furiously.
Driving a Union flag-painted Get Brexit Done tractor through a polystyrene wall: IMPORTANT
That wall of polystyrene blocks was one of the key obstacles standing between Britain and Brexit. It wasn’t symbolic. It was literally stopping Brexit happening and then Boris drove through it and Brexit happened. Because that’s us. Not gesture politics. Getting things done.