A SCREAMING whirlpool of burning shit and ruined futures worsening day by day is the new normal, Britain has confirmed.
Today’s events, in which a prime minister has resigned in less time than it took to elect her while a headless government shrieks like a sodomised chicken, are now considered pretty much par for the course.
Tom Logan of Battersea said: “Yeah, it’s kind of like being locked in an out-of-control rollercoaster spiralling down into the maw of an active volcano while the passengers murder each other. After a while you get used to it.
“That doesn’t mean I’m not constantly anxious, terrified and prone to panic attacks, because I am. But that’s a rational reaction to living in the deteriorating Hironymous Bosch theme park lunatic asylum of modern Britain, so it’s no biggie.
“New prime minister? Fine. Same as the old one we all hated? Whatever. Covid on the rise? Recession entered? Blackouts in the depths of winter? I expect it.
“I mean I’m not blameless. Just last week it all got to me a bit and I ran howling down the high street naked, speaking in tongues and wielding twin machetes. Nobody held it against me.
“We’re all mad here. I think I’ll vote Tory again next time. Why not?”
