A WOMAN with a head shaped like a perfect black square is outraged to have her identity exposed by the release of the Epstein files.
Emma Howard, who due to freak congenital abnormality exactly resembles a typical redaction, is planning legal action against the Department of Justice for its failure to protect her identity.
She said: “There I am with Prince Andrew lying across my lap in Sandringham and horsing around in a pool with Bill Clinton, my obsidian oblong features plain for the world to see.
“They could have blurred or pixelated my face or concealed it behind a fuchsia rectangle. Life’s already hard enough when you look like this. People are looking at me when I walk down the street. I’m embarrassed to go in shops.
“Such a terrible irony that I, who I now realise was only there because of the novelty of my features, now seem like I fit in perfectly with the girls and famous men who have been protected by redaction.
“Trump’s features have been covered with a black square just like mine. Doubly necessary, because he wore blackface every time he attended the parties. Not to conceal his identity, just to be racially insensitive.”
