A spear has been driven through the heart of Britannia. The murderer? Rishi Sunak

MOURN Britannia, for she is no more. The colossus which once bestrode the globe has been murdered, her country dead, its natives doomed. The murder weapon? Rishi Sunak’s budget.

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MOURN Britannia, for she is no more. The colossus which once bestrode the globe has been murdered, her country dead, its natives doomed. The murder weapon? Rishi Sunak’s budget.

Mash Blind Date: 'They've sent me on a date with a bloke, but I'm straight'

Neil seems absolutely lovely, charming, funny and handsome. But, given that I’m heterosexual and said so on the form, that’s by the by. Was no woman available? Would none of them date me?

This is a Mash Premium article, exclusively for subscribers. Sign up for Mash Premium to get ad-free browsing and bonus content.

Mash Premium gives you extra content and ad-free browsing. Subscribe to view this article.

Neil seems absolutely lovely, charming, funny and handsome. But, given that I’m heterosexual and said so on the form, that’s by the by. Was no woman available? Would none of them date me?

Sorry, this article is for Mash Premium members only
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