FOURTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, explains to his crew the privations of walking the hood in school uniform.
Fam! Man is vexed, spending time imprisoned in dis grammar school shit drip ooniform. Might as well be a horange jumpsuit like in Wha’gwantanamo Bay, innit!
First, dem say no baseball cap. Are you teasin’ me, bruv? Then mandem not have tramlines in their trims! Man had to colour him’s heyebrows in wiv Sharpie.
Next, da shirt wiv no zip and no Velcro. Man has no time for buttons, so only top two gettin’ done’, innit! And wot’s wiv da tie too, cuz? Man feels like him’s choked out. See tha knot? Same knot two year blud. 2021 knot there.
And pants is proper skank. They is creased all da way down, and no helastic at the bottom to stop man’s sick bubblegum vapes droppin’ out. But at least they hide man’s simpleton shoes, innit! Got fresh Air Force in bag, they’ll be on before hassembly.
Man has to hang a new blazer too wiv da school badge on it. Like a fake-ass Versace, real. No lie worst designa logo eva, Man had to get a large to go over a hoody, coz man cudn’t find a hextra large big enuff to go over man’s Zavetti Canada Goose coat.
Now is time for man’s peng selfie for gyaldem on da Snap. Saying? Mi Sharpie ran? Mi eye black? Mi look like Chemical Romance? That is mental shit.