AUSTRALIA will contest the Ashes using just Ashton Agar, captain Michael Clarke has confirmed.
After scoring a third of Australias innings yesterday, the teenager will bowl out Englands batting line-up today while simultaneously acting as wicket keeper and fielding in second slip.
Clarke said: Well still stand on the pitch, applauding and saying bowled, Agar occasionally for the look of the thing but I reckon hes got this one himself.
Hes a young lad so I reckon Australia need not produce another decent cricketer for another fifteen years, and what better place to start that run of cricketing inactivity than England?
Agar batted at eleventh man yesterday to give the rest of the squad the chance to have their photograph taken batting at an Ashes match, inadvertently scoring 182 runs in the process.
Australia will have Agar open the batting after he bowls England out sometime before lunch today, to ensure the handful of runs required can be scored quickly enough to give the team a free weekend.
Agar said: Looks like its going to be pretty hot today so I reckon Ill skittle out whatever run total England set wearing shorts and a vest.