ENGLAND fans have agreed it is necessary to leave work at lunch in order to catch the game at 8pm.
Work will end at around 12.30pm in order to get a solid seven hours’ boozing, fretting and speculating in before tonight’s life-changing event.
Nathan Muir of Cheltenham said: “Usually games like this are in Brazil or somewhere so they’re on at 3pm. It’s hardly my fault this one isn’t.
“I need to get my game head on, and an important part of that is leaving work early like I did for all those other key England games. If I don’t do that they might lose, like they did the other times.
“There simply isn’t time to pace my drinking if I’m only home by five. I’ll rush it and end up blacking out at half-time. This can’t be England-Brazil 2002 all over again.
“And if you need to get a table nailed down in front of a pub then no way can you stay in the office past 1pm. That should count as compassionate leave.”
Muir’s boss Eleanor Shaw said: “What work would the useless f**kers realistically do anyway? Exactly.”
