Friday, 30th October 2020

Government appoints Harry Maguire as Greek ambassador

IN keeping with its policy of getting the right people for top jobs, the government has appointed Harry Maguire as ambassador to Greece.

The appointment recognises the Manchester United defender’s tact and diplomacy in dealing with the Greek authorities after being arrested following a bar brawl on Mykonos.

Boris Johnson said: “This government has a reputation for getting the best-qualified people for important posts. Mr Maguire stood out in a strong field of candidates, although we didn’t actually interview anyone else, as usual.

“Harry is now well-known to the Greek people, which will be a great help when holding receptions at the British embassy. True, he doesn’t have any relevant experience but he’s probably seen the Ferrero Rocher adverts.

“His command of the Greek language is excellent, enabling him to order beers without difficulty. Let’s face it, he’s as well-qualified for his new job as Gavin Williamson or Dido Harding.” 

Maguire will be paid £190,000 a week to match his salary at Manchester United, but Johnson said this was justified due to his heading abilities against Sweden in the 2018 World Cup.

He added: “He’ll be fine. The role of British ambassador to Greece these days is just to support Brexit and tell them they can go whistle for the Elgin Marbles.”