Sunday, 25th October 2020

Man who thinks women's football is boring won't shut up about golf

A MAN who claims women’s football is slow and lacking in action also thinks men hitting tiny balls with sticks for hours is utterly fascinating.

Avid TV golf viewer Joseph Turner dismisses top-level women’s football but loves even the most tedious bits of golf, such as players walking slowly to where they have hit the ball.

Turner said: “Women’s football just doesn't appeal. I can’t actually give you a good reason why, but maybe they look odd in football strips and should have pretty dresses like tennis players?

“By contrast, even though a game of golf takes hours and involves an awful lot of standing about doing fuck all, it’s still extremely interesting, unlike female athletes leaping around and scoring goals.

“I’m as much of a feminist as the next bloke but women just aren’t as good at sport, except for synchronised swimming. I wouldn’t want to watch men doing that.”

When asked if he thought he would be a better player than any of the current England women’s football team, 63-year-old Turner said: “No, but only because I’ve got a sore knee.”