New football season make everything better for man

ALL bad stuff in world gone away now football back, say man.

Wayne Hayes, 38, not like summer. Too hot. Too wet. Just tennis and cricket. Children on holiday and all the news bad.

But now football back, with commentator voices him know from last season. It all good now and him not think about Boris Johnson and Trump because Liverpool and Man United on television in pub.

Hayes said: “Me hate long period between end of Women’s World Cup and Charity Shield. Me have to think of world. Global warming. Brexit. It make Wayne scared.

“But now football here and everything good. It like Wayne when him 10 years old watching Match of the Day. Jimmy Hill, hot water bottle, Mummy and Daddy and cocoa.

“Me not think about boring job in big office either. Marketing strategy meeting on Tuesday last thing on mind now football on.

“Only problem bloody VAR. It have tedious delays and kill flow of game. Wayne hate VAR.

“Still, me like football, me glad it back.”