ONCE I was ordinary man. I watch football on TV. People watching football make noise. I powerless.
But now, behold! With button press I am master of Premier League crowd noise.
I control epic chant of vast hordes with magic remote. Cheers of fans rise and fall according to my whim and mighty power.
Want crowd noise? Click. Magic crowd noise with no crowd. Want them silent? Click. Now all can hear is Tom Davies saying ‘f**king hell’ as ball hit post.
TV clicker bring sense of power in world gone mad. TV clicker not say please dial into obligatory wellness webinar at work. TV clicker not say Jack, you know you go grey in last eight weeks?
With clicker, I control whole world not it control me. Love clicker.