BRADFORD City celebrated its 5-0 thrashing yesterday by comparing its season to Arsenals.
As the Yorkshire club was battered like its supporters average dinner, the players reflected on the fact that at least none of them were or ever will be Gervinho.
Manager Phil Parkinson said: Even as the fifth goal whizzed past our keeper I turned to my assistant and said Piers Morgan doesnt support us. Never forget that.
“The supporters we do have were actually audible, didnt need prostitution to afford their season ticket and were sat at Wembley watching their side compete, to some degree, in a cup final.”
Bradford fans will spend the rest of the season not watching their ex-players win league and European titles, although they conceded they do still have George Galloway as their MP.
Meanwhile, Brendan Rodgers told Swansea fans they are very welcome for their victory after taking all the credit for it.
Speaking in front of a large whiteboard filled with incomprehensible quadratic equations, the Liverpool manager credited his mastery of Chaos Theory for each of Swanseas five goals.
Rodgers said: The ink I used in my resignation from Swansea was made by the left bladder of the male Two-Spot octopus.
“The eddies of causality this sent out into the universe ensured a Swansea victory just as surely as a butterfly beating its wings in China is the reason Joe Allen cant currently pass for shit.