Commonwealth baton runners draw straws on the Glasgow bit

THE Commonwealth Games baton carriers have demanded a fair way of deciding who has to take it through the east end of Glasgow.

The baton will spend the next four months moving ever closer, and with a deepening sense of dread, to the host city.

Tom Logan, who had hoped to run with it somewhere nice like Bath, said: “We need to draw straws or have some kind of nightmarish lottery where the prize is getting hoofed in the groin and then robbed by a lunatic.

“The baton is a hefty cudgel, so that should buy me about 20 seconds while I desperately try to explain that I am neither Catholic nor Protestant.”

A Commonwealth Games spokesman said: “Don’t look directly at them.”