THE government is being urged to quicken the pace at which it pisses away the HS2 budget.
Experts said the high speed rail project would only make sense if the pointless northern section was being built at the same time as the completely idiotic southern bit.
Civil engineer Jane Thompson said: “That way we can watch two budgets spiralling out of control at the same time.
“You can also piss even more money into a bucket by having two concurrent public inquiries into why the two budgets have spiralled out of control.”
Thompson added: “Just so much pissing. Like a million shire horses full of lager.”
HS2 is a £100bn scheme to have slightly shorter journey times from Manchester and Birmingham to London, thereby solving Britain’s biggest ever problem.