PROFESSIONAL cricketers are avoiding the sport by claiming that it can’t be played in rain.
An anonymous cricketer said: “All the stories of bats disintegrating, balls bouncing out of control and our white trousers turning see-through so you can see the outlines of our penises are fabricated.
“Now all we have to do is look worriedly at the sky, shake our heads a few times and, bingo, day off.
“No one wants to play cricket if they can help it, it is terribly boring.”
The LV County Championship has been marred by cancellations this season with games being called off because of light rain, recent rain or the instinctive feeling that it might rain at some point in the relatively near future.