STRIKER Didier Drogba is dragging himself back to Stamford Bridge to end his days, the club has confirmed.
The player, who enjoyed his glory years at Chelsea, has somehow sensed his own forthcoming demise and is limping thousands of miles to die in the place that loved him best.
Sport scientist Denys Finch Hatton said: Its an extraordinary natural phenomenon.
These creatures, magnificent in their prime, use some rudimentary homing instinct to find their way through a baffling maze of contracts to live out their last moments showered with applause from fans.
Its almost as if theyre intelligent.
Other footballers who have made the same journey include Henrik Larsson, whose bones lie in the 30 yard box at Helsingborg and still contribute the occasional assist.
Drogba, who is currently leading a herd of international footballers across the Asian steppes, is expected to arrive for Chelseas first game of the season.
He will walk slowly onto the pitch, commit a last two-footed career-threatening tackle, then die when an opposing player retaliates to win his team one final penalty.
Jose Mourinho said: It will be a majestic sight.
Unlike Frank Lampard, who has travelled to New York to live out his final days in complete anonymity and will die there, alone and forgotten, in a back alley.