PRESIDENT Nicolas Sarkozy was thrown out of Britain last night and told to stick his Anglo-French brotherhood up his arse, after England lost 1-0 to France.
The president, and his unbelievably hot wife, had earlier received a standing ovation at the Palace of Westminster as members of the Commons and the Lords hailed his new approach to cross-Channel relations and his wife's magnificent legs.
Later, at Windsor Castle, the Queen congratulated the President while the Duke of Edinburgh performed his official duty of grabbing Madame Sarkozy around the knees, before being dragged away by the Grenadier Guards.
But the new spirit of friendship was destroyed just hours later as France eased to victory and the Sarkozys were ordered from their beds and shoved onto the late bus to Folkestone.
Foreign secretary David Milliband said: "Don't tell me you want be my best friend and then send my keeper the wrong way, you greasy shit.
"Typical bastard French isn't it? Coming over here with their just unbelievably sexy wives, giving it the 'kissy-kissy' and the 'ooh la la'.
"If you are going to rub our noses in your wife's exquisite chest, you could at least let us win the actual game."
Mr Milliband added: "I'm not too chuffed with the bastard Italians either."