SATURDAYS Chelsea-QPR game was silent because fans were immersed in this years sporting memoirs, it has emerged.‘This is the best ghost-written book ever’
Occasional bursts of applause or booing were caused by particularly thrilling passages in books by Roy Keane, Kevin Pietersen and Dennis Bergkamp.
Jose Mourinho said: “I looked at the crowd and saw a sea of serious, determined faces.
Not their faces the faces of Alex Ferguson and Luis Suarez on the covers of their mass-market hardbacks.
“No sound could be heard, even though their lips were all moving because they are not strong readers.
“It is no wonder that we conceded a goal because the team lost focus, and also because Thibaut Courtois was on chapter six of Andrea Pirlos I Think Therefore I Play.
Visiting manager Harry Redknapp spent the entire time reading his own new book in the hope of picking up some management tips.
Fan Julian Cook said: “I can only allot so many hours per week to sport, so the game seemed an ideal opportunity to multi-task.
“Decent game, was it? I can’t wait to read all about it in Eden Hazard’s autobiography Caution! Hazard, out October 2015 from Hachette.”