HOLLYOAKS star Gemma Atkinson is to pit her new chimpanzee against Madonna's Malawian baby in the latest round of Celebrity Toddler Fight Club: Adopted!
The two year-old chimpanzee is the early favourite despite rumours the Queen of Pop has trained her child in the ways of Kabaddi, the much-feared Jewish martial art.
Atkinson said: "I'm not really supposed to talk about Celebrity Toddler Fight Club, but I will tell you this – my chimpanzee is red-hot.
"I've trained a lot of fighting monkeys over the years, but I've never seen one this hungry for it. It's going to take more than some fancy Jewish karate to stop this boy."
If successful the chimpanzee will face a child from the respected Mia Farrow stable, with the stage then set for a pulsating climax against one of Angelina Jolie's Vietnamese babies.
The hit BBC Four show has brought the visceral thrill of celebrity toddler fighting to millions and spawned a new generation of would-be champions.
Showbiz expert Nathan Muir said: "Allotment superstars Keira Knightley and James McAvoy and Indiana Jones sex-bomb Shia LaBeouf are all desperate to adopt babies and train them for the fighting pit."
BBC Four controller Melissa Hayes added: "All the toddlers on Celebrity Toddler Fight Club: Adopted! are trained professionals, but please don't let that stop you from adopting a baby and trying this at home."