RYDER Cup fans have been warned that golf is a boring pastime for twats.Like pinball for middle managers
The tournament attracted a global audience of millions who enjoyed seeing rich Americans getting crushed by defeat.
However experts have warned the public against participating in golf.
Psychologist Tom Logan said: Once golf finds its way into a life, it claims it completely. Your friends are replaced by arseholes, your clothes by a clowns, your speaking voice by a penetrating bray.
You will never again receive a Christmas present, a birthday card, a moment of intimacy that is not golf-related. You will throw out all books in your house that are not about golf and refuse to drink any alcohol that has not been in a decanter.
Golf will become your master.”
Roy Hobbs of Belfast said: Not being a bellend, Ive never known much about golf.
But after this weekend I know the difference between a birdie and a bogey, and Ive bought a £2,500 set of carbon-fibre golf clubs that came with free compulsory UKIP membership.