SMOKING kids believe they have finally found a role model in Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere.
Underage smokers say Wilshere, who was pictured enjoying a cigarette outside a nightclub, proves they can achieve their dreams.
13-year-old Julian Cook said: “Every day, us kid smokers face prejudice from adults.
“Especially Mr Phillips the PE teacher who is the biggest twat alive.
“I’ve spent the last fortnight in detention after getting caught having a gasper behind the science block.
“But seeing a professional footballer smoking gives me the strength to persist with my habit.
“I don’t need to change – I need to change the world. While smoking.”
Doctor Mary Fisher said: “Ossie Ardiles was on 40-a-day when he won the World Cup with Argentina.
“Also Gazza loved his fags and he’s totally fine.
“A lot of teen smokers are underachieving at school because they feel stigmatised.
“They need more successful smokers to look up to. Imagine what a huge morale boost it would be if Jessica Ennis started blazing 40 Lamberts a day.”