Friday, 14th May 2021

'Like Brexit but good': the European Super League shitstorm explained to non-fans

PULLING out of a European group that raises everyone’s income, but it’s a good thing? Uh? Manchester United fan Wayne Hayes explains: 

Basically this is a story of the plucky man on the street standing up to greedy Europeans and taking back control. Remind you of anything?

Now our cherished national institution is free to be presided over by a government that apparently cares about it all of a sudden, and it can carry on being corrupt in ways that have been conveniently overlooked for ages.

The crucial difference though, and I can’t stress this enough, is that everybody is universally happy about English teams leaving the European Super League. Whereas with the other thing, well, you know.

In this case, English clubs genuinely are the envy of the world and sticking together will actually help all the other teams in the country, which I know sounds very like all those claims that were made over the last few years but this time it’s true.

And yes, the decision was largely made by foreign billionaires but this time it’s all the Americans who claim to love free enterprise who were wrong and the oil states and Russian oligarchs are on the right side. Sort of. For the moment.

So if you’re a Remainer, I’m afraid you’ll have to accept that in this particular case, the working-classes bitterly opposed to foreign influence who’ve risen up in a populist revolution are the good guys.

And if you’re a Brexiter? Uncomplicated celebration of your footballing independence day! Boris was right! Hooray for England!