NO-ONE at Liverpool FC has the heart to make Steven Gerrard retire before he is a pensioner, it has emerged.Like an especially loyal labrador
Future managers at the club will have it pre-written into their contract that they must always select Gerrard even if he can only move about the pitch on a mobility scooter.
Manager Brendan Rodgers said: This club has always been about the heart, the passion and the pointless sentimentality.
Nowhere does this more apply than when it comes to Steven Gerrard. He is Mr Liverpool.
The only analogy I can think of for a Liverpool team without Steven Gerrard is a Liverpool team without Steven Gerrard.
Backroom staff are currently developing a special prosthetic cannon to be attached to the side of Gerrard’s leg should he ever lose the ability to play his trademark 80 yard crossfield balls.
Rodgers said: Only one in ten of the passes from the cannon lands anywhere near the feet of a forward. With Gerrard currently, it’s one in 20 so we’ve got to decrease the accuracy.
Steven Gerrard said: I intend to play on till Liverpool win a Premier League title, however long that takes.
Even if I have to be wheeled around the centre circle in a coffin on castors, I want to play a key role in that triumph. Never walk alone, whatever that means.