RUSSIA is to host an alternative Olympic Games where drug use is obligatory.
The terrifying nation is planning an athletics event where it promises more world records will be ‘crushed’ than ever before.
A spokesman said: “You want to see a man run faster than a greyhound? To watch hurdlers take them two at a time? To see a pole vaulter who needs a parachute?
“Come to Yalta and see what the human body is capable of when unchained from effeminate, Western regulations.
“Warning – some athletes may explode.”