Tampon adverts promoting unrealistic levels of sporting achievement

A WOMAN has been left disappointed after her sanitary product did not allow her to play football at professional level, it has emerged.

Nikki Hollis, from Luton, began buying a particular brand of tampons after seeing an advert featuring a woman being able to play sport and smile despite having her period.

Hollis said: “It was strongly suggested that there was a direct correlation between using tampons and being able to score a goal with an impressive header to the delight of my female team mates.

“My friends refused to be strong, empowered women by playing football with me so I went to the park by myself and tried to join in a game with some small boys. They let me kick the ball but it veered off over a fence and was flattened by a lorry.

“The boys started crying and called me a bully. It wasn’t the first step on the path to sporting glory as I’d been led to believe.

“I’ve also still found myself unable to use a zip wire, windsurf or roller skate whilst pulled along by a pack of friendly dogs, as other tampon adverts have suggested. Maybe I’m using them wrong?”