Welsh success based on plucky team spirit and being extremely good at football

WALES made it to the Euro 16 semi-finals because of a plucky underdog mentality and the fact they are very good footballers, experts have claimed.

After Wales achieved a ‘stunning’ quarter final victory against Belgium, footballogists stressed it was not actually that stunning  because Wales are properly good at this.

Professor Wayne Hayes said: “If England had beaten Belgium it would not have been described as ‘stunning’. But – as the Welsh team has demonstrated consistently over the course of the tournament  – they are a much better football team than England.

“The English are really quite poor at football and the Welsh are really quite good. That’s the key difference.”

He added: “And now we have discovered that they are also better at football than Belgium. And we will soon discover if they are better at football than Portugal.

“And ultimately we will, of course, discover that they are not as good at football as Germany.”

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Everything man once found refreshing and different about Corbyn now idiotic and awful

A LABOUR supporter now regards everything that makes Jeremy Corbyn stand out from other politicians as unspeakably stupid. 

Stephen Malley believes Corbyn’s vegetarianism, support for Palestine and six wins in the Parliamentary Beard of the Year awards, which he thought set the politician apart from rivals, are solid reasons for him to resign immediately.

Malley continued: “He doesn’t even own a car. What a dick.

“I thought that was great because he understands the ordinary cyclists of London and why should he be all into money and status, but now I realise it automatically disqualifies him from office.

“’Not one of these slick politicians who pumps out soundbites’, I said. Instead we’ve got a man who regards every television camera as a personal affront and speaks like he’s addressing a PTA meeting.

“He promised a new kind of politics. We’ve got that alright.”

Malley added: “I honestly thought him never wearing a tie was cool. Was I a 12-year-old metalhead cross about his school uniform?”