World Cup stadiums still full of street gangs

MANY of Brazil’s World Cup stadiums are still rife with poverty, stray dogs and ruthless street gangs, it has emerged. 

With just days to go before the tournament begins, an investigation has revealed a shocking gulf between the affluent corporate boxes and the impoverished terraces that surround them.

Nearly half the World Cup pitches are yet to remove their feral dogs, while the Arena de Saõ Paulo, which will host the opening match on Thursday, has been the site of running battles between drug cartels and the police which have claimed the lives of hundreds of supporters.

Tony Motta, of the Comando Vermelho gang, said: “Only recognised corporate partners are allowed, apparently, and it turns out ‘official FIFA World Cup cocaine provider’ isn’t a thing.

“But look, these drugs aren’t going to deal themselves.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “The World Cup organising committee wants everyone to see images of shiny, modern stadiums full of ladies wearing nothing but feathers doing a jiggly dance when their team scores.”

“But look past the jiggling and you will see a stadium scarred by inequality, corruption and violence. Assuming the stadium has actually been finished.”

Meanwhile, the UK government has advised England fans travelling to Brazil to stay away from any matches involving England if they want to avoid crushing disappointment.

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Wiggins ‘could win Tour de France if he just goes faster than everyone else’

SIR Bradley Wiggins has been told he can win the Tour de France again as long he manages to ride his bike faster than all the other cyclists.

The 2012 winner said he would not take part in this year’s event because he did not have a ‘team’, whereas defending champion Chris Froome does have a ‘team’.

But cycling enthusiasts insisted that the winner of a bike race is the one who finishes it first.

Julian Cook, from Peterborough, said: “If I was him I would go to France and then cycle as fast as I could for as long as possible. As long as he does that better than anyone else he should win.”

Cook added: “Are you allowed to use a tandem in the Tour de France? If so then Wiggins and Froome should form a team. That would be a really fast bike.”