World Cup wallchart abandoned

A WORLD Cup wallchart pinned to a bathroom wall has received its final entry just four days into the event. 

The chart, which network specialist Nathan Muir received free with a magazine and carefully tacked up opposite the toilet, has become too much of a faff after just nine games out of 64.

Muir said: “It was Costa Rica vs Serbia that broke my resolve. I mean, who the fuck cares?

“I scanned across the other group games and saw upcoming classics like Poland-Senegal and Denmark-Australia and realised I wouldn’t care about the results of these matches if I was actually at the matches.

“Later on it’ll get important, yeah, but I’m pretty sure I’ll remember the opponents and score of an epic, nail-biting semi-final without needing an aide-memoire by the shitter.

“And there’s just something about updating a chart every time I have a bowel movement that makes it like a preview of how it’ll be when I’m 75.

“I’ll still leave the chart up until December, though. I’m a bachelor living alone, after all.”