Taking the knee was never actually going to fix racism, Lionesses told

KNEELING before football games was not a mechanism by which racism would be eliminated entirely, the England women’s squad have been informed. 

The Lionesses are to stop taking a knee before games because racist abuse on social media made it clear it was not eradicating racism from football or society, which it was never capable of nor intended to do.

Football fan Hannah Tomlinson said: “I like the way the team thinks. It’s direct and goal-focused and demonstrates why they’ve been so successful. It’s also wrong.

“Kneeling was a show of solidarity, a gesture, a protest, and not guaranteed to reduce racism either for any individual match or cumulatively. It’s only been going on five years. Racism’s been around a fair bit longer.

“Obviously I wish them well with finding a more effective way to tackle racism, but I admit my hopes aren’t high. I fear it’s beyond even their prodigious footballing abilities. Or indeed anyone’s.

“They’d have more chance stopping social media, but even that wouldn’t end racism. I’m reliably informed it pre-dates it.”

She added: “We’re not really racist about the Germans any more. That’s progress.”

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'Putting label on relationship would mean I was cheating on you' man explains

A MAN has explained to a woman he is involved with that giving their relationship a name would make his sleeping with other women a categorically bad thing.

Jack Browne, who has been dating and enthusiastically f**king Lauren Hewitt for eight months, believes that formally becoming boyfriend and girlfriend would have ramifications she has not thought through.

He continued: “It sounds nice, sure, but it means the other women I’m seeing without your knowledge become sluts that I’m cheating on you with, which feels unfair and frankly misogynistic.

“As a feminist, I believe we should have a more modern approach to dating. This isn’t the 1950s. And you’re fully entitled to sleep with other people, although you’re not, I’ve never mentioned it before and if you did I’d end it.

“Let’s just keep this fun, by which I mean I shouldn’t be restricted in my behaviour at all. Unhappy about it? I’m disappointed. I thought you were cooler than that.”

Hewitt said: “It’s incredibly that Jack’s protecting me from being trapped in patriarchal structures like monogamy. He’s really putting my interests first.

“But he’s shown he’s ready to take the next step because he’s hinting at moving in to my place when he’s kicked out of his for rent arrears. That’s more important than being called his girlfriend.”