GARETH Southgate, the most successful England manager since Alf Ramsey, is a miserable failure who lost his country two Euros and a World Cup. Time for him to go?
Helen Archer, vivisectionist: “And his missed penalty lost us Euro 96, killing Britpop and by extension Princess Diana. Hanging’s too good for him.”
Martin Bishop, lecturer: “I honestly think England would have won four or five World Cups since 2016 with someone else in charge, and a couple of Superbowls.”
Thomas Booker, cabin steward: “He’s in charge of a golden generation, even more golden than the previous generation which was even more golden than the generation before that. In a river of gold he’s a dam of turds.”
Nathan Muir, HGV driver: “They say grass withers where he walks, food rots to dust the moment he touches it, and his very gaze turned Harry Maguire to stone.”
Lottie Phelps, camgirl: “I actually think people are being much too harsh, and also if we don’t beat Brazil tonight he should be blinded.”
