EARTH’S most famous inhabitants are being challenged to survive a millennium-long ice age for charity.Benedict Cumberbatch is in there somewhere
The Earth is poised to unleash an overdue ice age, spreading from both poles until the entire surface of the planet is below freezing, because it wants to see the hilarious expressions on our faces when it hits.
It said: I had no idea you guys were so into the ice thing. Ive been holding back for ages.
Its going to start in Los Angeles, where Im particularly excited to see Johnny Depp, Emma Stone and Jason Statham try to outrun the encroaching ice before being buried in snow.
And the great news is it isnt limited to the famous. Everyone on my surface gets to take part, and for everyone that dies Ill give five dollars to fighting a disease.
Not that there will be any diseases left. Or money. But I will get to see Mark Zuckerberg encased in ice and worth precisely nothing.
The Earth has asked everyone to film their faces as the air temperature drops to minus 80 degrees centigrade so future civilisations can enjoy the fun.
It was nominated for the challenge by Mars, Pluto and Jupiters frozen moon Europa, all of which used to harbour intelligent life.