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Elderly parents reveal plan to buy shit computer

YOUR ageing parents are planning to get themselves a ‘computer with the internet’, in a move that will ruin your life.

It is likely that they will use a shopping catalogue to purchase a machine that is described as ‘easy-to-operate, great for first-timers’ and represents very poor value for money.

The news came during a telephone call where your mother explained that although they had never wanted a computer before, looking at websites might be quite interesting especially as the telly is so poor lately.

Also your father may be able to get the dog’s special shampoo cheaper online than from the vet, who sells it at an extortionately high price.

Your mother said: “I went to a shop with your father and the man said they’ve all got the internet on them now. Is that right? He showed us one but I didn’t like the keys.”

She added: “You can help us set it up. You know all about that sort of thing. It’ll be fun.”