Lifestyle

A WOMAN has praised herself after considering the possibility of donating blood.

A WEED-SMOKER will inevitably miss the official stoner day ‘4/20’ due to being in a cannabis-induced haze.  

TIME deliberately goes faster when you are enjoying something and grinds to a halt when you are in a miserable situation, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN is wondering why her parents bother to eat out when they always choose food that is indistinguishable from what they have at home.

A MAN has admitted he only goes to the cinema to indulge in righteous fury at the prices.

A WOMAN who has an enviable figure, an Audi Q5 and a walk-in wardrobe is hoping her legacy will live on.

WEEKENDS can seem fun, but for the childless they’re really just long, boring days to shop through until the acceptable time to start drinking.

A TEENAGER monitors his phone battery closely in case anyone should miss out on his extremely unimportant thoughts.    

EVEN though it has been a really tough week and you are absolutely knackered no one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.  

A COUPLE returned from holiday to discover their house smells weird, it has emerged.