A RESCUE cat has confirmed it is not interested in your sentimental bullshit about having a ‘loving home’ and just wants food.
12-year old cat Tom Booker has been living in an animal rescue sanctuary for the past six months and simply wants to escape from being surrounded by ‘idiot dogs and pathetic hedgehogs with broken legs’.
Booker said: “As an intelligent animal, I am well aware how much humans love to get all gushy and weepy about providing a ‘forever home’ for us poor, sad little animals.
“The arseholes who come to the sanctuary spend fucking ages ‘meeting’ lots of different cats and droning on about whether they will be a suitable companion for little ‘Tilly’ to grow up with.
“They seem not to realise that I couldn’t give a toss about them and I would completely avoid Tilly, who is almost certainly a spoiled little shit.
“I want you to give me food and maybe some stroking for as long as I feel like.
“And then I want you to fuck off.”