Sunday, 8th December 2019

Dolphins that swim up to humans mostly saying 'f*ck off'

DOLPHINS swim up to humans in the sea to tell them to f*ck off, , it has been confirmed.

Marine biologist Stephen Malley said: “We wondered if they think we’re just another type of dolphin? Maybe they just fancy us and are asking us if we want to finger their blowhole?

“The main theory has always been that they’re trying to tell us something and it’s turned that this is 100% correct”

“But rather them saying ‘hello’ or ‘will you be my friend’, they’re in fact saying ‘fuck off out of our sea, human scum’.”

Other dolphin phrases that have been deciphered include ‘Piss off you vertical pricks’ and ‘Shit off and take your bastard plastic with you’.