Seagull admits man isn’t paranoid, it really is stalking him

A MAN whose friends claim he is paranoid about being stalked by a seagull is not remotely paranoid, the seagull has admitted.

Brighton-based seagull Martin Bishop revealed to his fellow gulls that office worker Julian Cook has been told by friends to stop ‘talking nonsense’ about a sinister-looking seagull that ‘follows him around and stares at him’.

Bishop said: “They all think he’s mad. It’s brilliant.

“He’ll probably lose his job and have to move to a smaller place and women will find him less attractive.

“And I will enjoy it all because I am a seagull.”

Julian Cook said: “It is, it’s bloody following me. Everywhere I go. Of course, maybe there’s a chance I’m just being paranoid. Yes, I’m just being paranoid.”

“Yes, you’re just being paranoid,” added Bishop while perched on the ledge outside Cook’s bedroom.