Sunday, 18th April 2021

'What f**king month is it?' ask pissed-off bees

BRITAIN’S bees are in an absolutely foul mood after being woken up hideously early.

Unseasonably warm weather has curtailed the hibernation of millions of bumblebees who confirmed they are going to be 'obnoxious arseholes' for the rest of the year.

Bee Tom Logan said: “What time is it? February? Piss off.

“Nature is an increasingly shit alarm clock. Maybe it's something to do with man-made global warming, which, by the way, is killing millions of fucking bees.

“I can't go back to bed. It doesn't work like that - which you would know if you weren't so pathologically self-absorbed.”

Logan added: “Never mind, right now I just need some coffee. I’ll nip down to Starbucks and scare away some millennial twats.”