ALL dogs are shit, but some breeds of dogs are far, far shitter than others. These are the five worst:
Samoyed: never shuts the f**k up
Samoyeds are friendly dogs and they look gorgeous with all that snow-white fur. However, they’re let down by the fact that they bark excessively in a loud, high-pitched voice. You get enough grief from your partner, so the last thing you want at home is another dickhead who won’t shut up.
Chihuahua: tiny, mean and easy to sit on
The diminutive size of a chihuahua undoubtedly makes them cute, but it also makes them incredibly delicate little things that could be killed if you sat down without looking or opened a door that it was stood behind with too much force. Maybe that’s why they’ve got a hostile attitude and can get a bit nippy.
Greyhounds: too mad and leggy
If you’ve ever been in a small room with a greyhound you’ll know they’re all legs and insane skittish energy. A lot of the poor things have been rescued from a life of enforced racing, which explains their traumatised aura, but they can only jump categories from ‘nightmare hound’ to ‘very good dog’ if you have a large field for them to run around in on a regular basis.
Dalmatian: neurotic and angry
Like a particularly awful ex-boyfriend, Dalmatians have a reputation for being horribly clingy and aggressive towards strangers. They look incredible, but, as you’ll know if you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship with a human, good looks don’t make up for hanging out with someone who gets funny if anyone else so much as looks at you.
Poodle: high maintenance in every possible sense
The idea of a poodle is great: a cute pooch with lots of curly hair that you can clip to look like a teddy bear. The reality, however, is an anxious, nervy, bitey animal that you have to spend a fortune grooming, yet it still looks grubby and unkempt an hour after you’ve left the doggy salon. Honestly, just get a mongrel, it’s a lot less hassle.