Chihuahua: tiny, mean and easy to sit on. The worst breeds of dog ranked

ALL dogs are shit, but some breeds of dogs are far, far shitter than others. These are the five worst: 

Samoyed: never shuts the f**k up

Samoyeds are friendly dogs and they look gorgeous with all that snow-white fur. However, they’re let down by the fact that they bark excessively in a loud, high-pitched voice. You get enough grief from your partner, so the last thing you want at home is another dickhead who won’t shut up.

Chihuahua: tiny, mean and easy to sit on

The diminutive size of a chihuahua undoubtedly makes them cute, but it also makes them incredibly delicate little things that could be killed if you sat down without looking or opened a door that it was stood behind with too much force. Maybe that’s why they’ve got a hostile attitude and can get a bit nippy.

Greyhounds: too mad and leggy

If you’ve ever been in a small room with a greyhound you’ll know they’re all legs and insane skittish energy. A lot of the poor things have been rescued from a life of enforced racing, which explains their traumatised aura, but they can only jump categories from ‘nightmare hound’ to ‘very good dog’ if you have a large field for them to run around in on a regular basis.

Dalmatian: neurotic and angry

Like a particularly awful ex-boyfriend, Dalmatians have a reputation for being horribly clingy and aggressive towards strangers. They look incredible, but, as you’ll know if you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship with a human, good looks don’t make up for hanging out with someone who gets funny if anyone else so much as looks at you.

Poodle: high maintenance in every possible sense

The idea of a poodle is great: a cute pooch with lots of curly hair that you can clip to look like a teddy bear. The reality, however, is an anxious, nervy, bitey animal that you have to spend a fortune grooming, yet it still looks grubby and unkempt an hour after you’ve left the doggy salon. Honestly, just get a mongrel, it’s a lot less hassle.

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I was losing faith in Trump. But now he's officially a sex attacker, I'm back in

By Trump supporter Tom Logan

TRUMP? Yesterday’s news. What’s he done since failing to overturn an election by sheer force of will? But now that’s all changed.

Because once again this maverick has wrested hold of the news agenda and confirmed he will be our next president, all by being found legally responsible for a sexual assault.

That’s the Trump I backed. That’s the man who made the whole world pay attention when he staged an insurrection. That’s my disruptor-in-chief.

Liberals, crybabies and the mentally ill see it as a bad thing. ‘Your guy’s a sex abuser! Nobody will vote for him now!’ Morons. He was a sex abuser before. It just didn’t have that gold seal of civil court approval.

‘He’ll have to pay $5 million!’ He never pays for anything. Hadn’t you noticed? Hadn’t you realised that’s why this beautiful, powerful billionaire represents the real America? He’ll soon be starting a crowdfunding page, you mark my words.

It took me back to his greatest hits. Injecting bleach. Fine Nazis. Buying Greenland. Cosy meetings with Putin and that triumphant rigged election. What a guy.

And now he’s officially a real American red-blooded sex attacker smiling and back on top, who would bet against him? Especially when there’s so much more to come?

Criminal charges for paying off a porn star, tampering in the Georgia election, the missing confidential files, a civil case for fraud – this witch hunt adds up to one hell of a presidential run.

Yes, Trump has confirmed he’s the candidate for success, for winners, for old-fashioned courtesy, for family values, for committed Christians and for anyone who really believes in democracy. Because with this guy, that’s how it works.