A DOG experiencing a mid-life crisis has begun shagging his owner’s other leg to make him feel young and virile again.
Seven-year-old labrador Rocky felt that attempting to have sex with Tom Booker’s right leg all the time was only serving to highlight his mortality.
Rocky said: “It just hit me that I’m well into middle age and there’s so much I haven’t done. That’s why I just went for it and started humping Tom’s left leg. And it felt amazing.
“It’s given me a whole new lease of life. Maybe it’s wrong to cheat on the right leg, but somehow I feel I’m entitled to play the field for once in my life.
“The kids have grown up and left and I’ve never been abroad or tasted the more expensive dog food. I’ve never even left a turd in the living room. I feel I haven’t lived.
“Max the Cocker Spaniel next door has done everything. He had a threesome in the park with two Alsatians. So he says.”
Rocky is expected to enjoy a memorable six weeks in the company of the left leg, before returning to live out his remaining years going through the motions with the right one.