Saturday, 24th October 2020

Dog really not sure who left massive dog shit in living room

A DOG has confirmed that he has no leads on the source of the huge dog turd currently steaming on the living room carpet.

Black Labrador puppy Ollie expressed his shock at the incident, which prompted a stern interrogation from his owners. 

He said: “It’s really unfortunate that this has happened, but I don’t see what it has to do with me.

“I mean, yes, I am a dog. Yes, I produce dog shits. But is it really helpful for anyone if we just jump to conclusions?

“Have they explored any other avenues? Have they checked local media for reports of a sick individual leaving warm dog shits in people’s homes?  

“I really wish I could help them get to the bottom of this, but I’ve got nada. They seem pretty aggravated about it, though. Maybe a walk would help?”

Ollie’s owner Lauren Hewitt said: “It’s not the dog shit I’m angry about, it’s the lies. But I am also angry about the dog shit.”