A FRIEND has invited himself and, more importantly, his absolutely mental dog on the outdoor excursion you have planned this weekend.
Your stroll along a section of the Pennine Way, enjoying the views and stopping in a couple of pubs for a pint by the fire, will now be accompanied by a beserk dog leaping and barking at everyone it sees while you feel obliged to apologise.
Your friend Nathan, owner of the deranged King Charles Spaniel-Welsh Collie cross that should never have been born, said: “Well a walk’s not a walk without a dog.
“Yes, Pepper does have a number of behavioural issues, but we’ve been working on them. I give her treats randomly and confusingly so she never knows what’s going on. It’s working so far.
“She’ll be straining at the lead throughout and going for other dogs in a frenzy while I chuckle indulgently and say ‘She’s a bit antisocial!’ Though she won’t always be on the lead. I’m planning to experiment with letting her run free right through a field of sheep.
“And don’t worry, she’s fine in the pub. As long as nobody moves suddenly, laughs loudly, walks near her or has children, she’ll be good as gold.”