Runaway London horses desperate to carve out media career

THE Household Cavalry horses who rampaged through London are keen to turn their 15 minutes of fame into lucrative media careers.

Having gone viral after galloping through London and kicking a bus, the horses feel they could emulate the ‘Scottish Oompa Loompa woman’, and have signed up with a talent agency to further their burgeoning stardom.

Agent Martin Bishop said: “If a nonentity like the parish council Zoom meeting lady Jackie Weaver can land a publishing deal, I reckon I can get these guys on Would I Lie To You? no problem.

“Millions of people are surely gagging to see what they’ll gallop through next. Times Square, perhaps, with a quick boot to a New York taxi for the fans? Although it may be too soon to try and crack America.

“First they need to hone their craft on the open mic circuit then take a show to Edinburgh. Sure, they’ve proven their entertainment chops online, but audiences are tougher in real life. They’ll have to drop the blood for starters. And they can’t just poo onstage at The Pleasance.

“I’ve already booked them a slot on This Morning and got them churning out Cameo videos, but they’ve got to flesh out their act if they want to turn this into a career. If they can sing or tell a joke that would be a massive help.”

Military horse Boxer said: “We’ve all told Martin we’re not doing Equus. We don’t want to get typecast.”

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