I’m in trouble up to my eyeballs and I’ve just grassed up all my mates. But on the plus side, I look a bit like Santa Claus. Do you think I could do seasonal work for John Lewis when all this blows over?
1. NEVER let anyone have access to your underwear in the changing rooms.
2. NEVER tell anyone that you play recorder duets with your mum.
3. NEVER grass on your mates.
If you stick to these rules then your life will be hunky dory. Break them and you can kiss goodbye to ever making it home without someone else’s saliva decorating the back of your duffel coat.
Hope that helps!