Ask Holly: I’m torn between a Rampant Rabbit and backing the Brexit

Dear Holly,

I always struggle to do romantic things for Valentine’s Day, but this year I’m going to try harder. I’ve narrowed it down to two possible gifts: either one of those Rampant Rabbits, or my personal backing to the Brexit campaign. Which one of those naughty treats is going to help keep my marriage alive?

Boris

London

Dear Boris,

We’ve got a lovely little school rabbit called Nibbles who eats vegetables and does tiny poos everywhere. He gets brought out of his hutch when someone kicks off to calm everyone down. My teacher says that’s because stroking soft animals is therapeutic for children with behavioural issues. It turns out that it can also be therapeutic to strangle rabbits if you have ADHD and have eaten too many Skittles at playtime. It’s okay though, Nibbles has fully recovered now and the nightmares have stopped for most of us.

Hope that helps,

Holly