Ask Holly: I’ve been married to Catherine Zeta Jones for 15 years, please help me

Dear Holly,

I’ve been married to Catherine Zeta Jones for 15 years. Please help me.

Michael

Los Angeles

Dear Michael,

When I grow up I’m going to marry Beyonce because my teacher says ladies are allowed to marry other ladies now. I’d choose Beyonce because she’s got loads of sparkly things I could borrow and we could do loads of mental dancing in the living room and make Jay-Z do stuff for us like go to Asda and buy us Toffee Crisps and clean all of Beyonce’s hair out of the plug hole and do the washing up and press play on our Charlie and Lola DVD so we can just lie there eating sweets. That would be marital bliss.

Hope that helps,

Holly